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Dear Evie

July 19, 2010

Kiersten White is giving away one more copy of Paranormalcy! As anyone close to me knows, this is one book that I’ve been fighting for. This is pretty much my last chance, so though I know there are going to be a lot of entries, I’m going to take a whack at it.

The problem? This giveaway entry calls for creativity. (I know – what was she thinking?) We had to, in some creative way, show/tell her that we’re really excited for the book. My entry isn’t something I’m particularly proud of, but it’s all I’ve got. My creative well is kind of parched at the moment. And, uh, don’t judge my writing abilities from this entry….

Anyway, here it is: My letter to Evie (the main character), in which I use paranormal creatures to prove my points and show her what a great friend I would be.

Dear Evie:

I’ve been contemplating the direction which I should take in order to convince you that I, truly, am the most worthy person of receiving a Paranormalcy ARC. The Universe seems to be conniving against me and our inevitable future friendship (I didn’t need a crystal ball to foresee it; my bedroom walls are pink). My spirit has been low, but that could be due to the Dementors.

As I thought over how to approach you, my main priority was to give you something to relate to. My solution? Bullet points. And those paranormal pests you’re always busy containing. I’m less familiar with them than you, due to my boring, average life. I feel the absence of these paranormal creatures painfully every day. I’m asking for your sympathy. Next time you take down a vampire with a net and your taser, keep in mind that those fangs are really pink sprinkles on your life cupcake.

It’s time they lent me a hand/claw.

  • Werewolves. They’re hot and not sticky. Two very, very good things. I have faith that Paranormalcy will have these admirable qualities as well. (And don’t worry if the book is sticky. If Kiersten’s kids spill maple syrup over the title page, I’m cool with that.)
  • Faeries. Though pretty and delicate, they’ve got bite. I’m expecting the same from the book, and I could use some Paranormalcy venom in my system. I’m having withdrawals.
  • Angels. You are one.
  • Genies have the ability to make wishes come true. And even if I met one and had a single wish, I’d ask for an ARC before my brain had time to speak to my mouth and tell me to request endless wishes. Our future friendship is just that important to me.
  • Gnomes. Need I say more? Should I be attacked by them in my back yard, I would still give them my foot to satisfy them before surrendering the book.
  • Mermaids. You know how much you love Lish? Now we can be a group of three! Except I can’t stay in the water that long because my skin will prune and I’m a really terrible swimmer.
  • Banshees. If you have nightmares about these ghosts who have had too many facelifts, call me. I’ll hum The Sixth Sense theme until you fall asleep.
  • Lastly, the abhorred TMNT. Word to the wise: Don’t get under their shells. They have anger management issues out the wazoo. However, if you do lose your temper and make a comment about them not belonging anywhere in the Animal, Human, or Paranormal Kingdoms (that ticks them off like shell), and end up chained to a pipe in the sewers, I will scour the city to save you and have my uncle Splinter keep them solely on lettuce for a few weeks.

As you can see, I am quite worthy and in desperate need of Paranormalcy. Also, if you could find a lime green taser next time you go to the The Wraith’s Department Store, I’d be thrilled. Sequins appreciated.

-Madeleine Rex

And there you go! I know it’s not the best, but it’s my last shot! If you’d like to enter the giveaway, look here. If you want to learn more about the book, look here. If you want to hear Kiersten read an excerpt, look here. If you want to read Kiersten’s absolutely fabulous blog, look here.

P.S. I am aware that TMNT aren’t paranormal creatures. I just couldn’t resist.

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